Empty Canvass

 

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A sense of dread gradually creeps into my mind,

awakening the fear I have tried to bury deep down in my soul,

forcing me to face the challenge I am not prepared to witness,

urging me to take a leap of faith I am not sure of surviving,

Why does it feel like no matter what I do, it’s never enough?

Why does it feel like I am trapped within this world?

Why am I scared of failure?

Why have I lost the ability to joyfully smile and face life?

Why do I hide my real desires frightened of scorn and ridicule?

Why am I scared of what the world might think of me?

I am like an empty canvass

fearful of being ripped and tainted by the extreme galore of colors?

How will I be anything but an empty canvass if this fear fails to diminish from my life?

 

Shredded Hopes

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I often wonder how every instant in my life is clouded by the fear of failing,

I often marvel at how every second I am fearful of going through the worst tribulation,

I am often puzzled by how difficult life is turning out to be day after day,

Just when I feel this is is the worst that could ever happen to me, life throws me into another battle, worst than the former,

Just when I feel I have overcome a serious problem, another is thrown at my head, not giving me the opportunity to recover or evade the blow,

Failed relationships & Heartbreaks,

Financial setbacks,

Career issues,

family complications,

expecting too much,

everyone wanting a bit of you,

Sickness and Despair,

Sorrow and loneliness

I have been through it all,

How much more am I to endure?

How much more do I have to go through?

Is it never going to end?

When am I going to feel contentment and calm in my life?

When am I going to be genuinely happy with my life?

All the hopes, ambitions, aspirations that I once had

are fading

All the dreams and desires I once envisioned for myself

are dulling amidst the chaos of life

All the positivity, bravery, courage

are evaporating into thin air

Everything that I ever wanted is shredding into tiny droplets of despair

Hanging on to suck the breath out of me

Wanting to make me devoid of any kind of hope

or light

forcing me to succumb to anguish and frustration,

leading me to a path of darkness and melancholy,

Igniting an echo that flows endlessly around me,

Shredded Hopes

Shredded Hopes

Shredded Hopes