Dwindling Friendship

 

There was a time when we were inseparable,

We spent every moment together,

Every second apart, we counted the minutes when we would be together again,

I was always there when you needed me,

When everyone was against you, I stood by your side,

Never letting you face any battle alone,

We laughed like there was no tomorrow,

There wasn’t a secret between us,

Everyone spoke of our friendship as a legend, a history they would narrate for generations to come,

There were many who tried to tear us apart,

But we stood united and together as ever,

Partners in crime, Accomplice in mischief,

That was us!!!

With you I felt like I could conquer the world,

Every challenge felt like a joy to face,

Every bout of sadness turned into a smile,

Every achievement felt like it was magnified a million times more,

Every secret we shared was a whisper no one would ever know,

But today, we hardly even talk,

the word “busy” defines our relationship to each other,

miles separate us because we are now in different towns,

different jobs,

we can post selfies and change our profile pictures,

but we can’t talk to each other,

we can socialize with others but not with us,

we can chat with others, but not to each other,

I feel a tug at my heart for feeling this way,

we are drifting apart,

You can barely answer my texts,

leaving monosyllables of yeah, yes, no

I feel like I have lost you,

I feel like I have been replaced,

I ask about your life but you never answer,

I ask about work and all you can say is busy,

So much going on in my life,

but you aren’t there to hear any of it,

I cry but you aren’t there to console my pain,

That’s fine,

I’ll always hold the memories we shared close to my heart,

Never again will I have a best friend,

because they all move away, leaving me where I am,

replacing me with the next best thing in life,

Dwindling Friendship,

Broken Friendship,

That’s what remains of us!!!!!

 

 

Cocktail of Relationships

 

flaming_cocktails

 

 

Every time I come across a couple holding hands or gazing into each other eyes’ oblivious of the fact that someone is observing them

Every instant that I happen to see a man eagerly wait for his woman at the gate,

Every time I am forced to attend a wedding or observe my friends falling in love, cuddling next to each other or sweet texting each other,

I feel a pang of jealousy erupt within my soul,

I feel a twinge of pain in my heart,

I realize a deep sense of loneliness lingers within my life and I constantly feel it nagging my thoughts,

I feel this void in my life which may never be fulfilled,

How often have I been in a one-sided relationship where I was the only one devoted and committed to making our relationship work?

How often have I been taken for a fool, waiting for a text or call, waiting for a hug or kiss when it was freely been given to another woman?

How many times have I been told, “You are never enough”

“You are too fat”

“You are too short”

“You are doing this wrong and that wrong”

How many times have I shed tears over heart breaks and humiliating remarks driving my sense of worth at the lowest?

How many times have my achievements been seen as mediocre and worthless when I have worked immensely hard to be where I am?

How many times have I been discarded like a filthy piece of trash for my beautiful friends?

How often have I been compared to my friends, utterly shattering my spirit and self-respect?

How often have I been ridiculed for my opinions and thoughts?

How many times have I been scared of introducing my boyfriend to my friends, fearful of having been dumped?

How many times do I hear my friends complain of not receiving any text or call from their boyfriends? The fights and arguments? The sweet makeup kiss?

I yearn to feel all this. How unfortunate that I never experienced true love nor received even a sincere bit of affection from any of my relationships?

I console myself with the belief that I am better off alone

I smile hoping my heart understands that I no longer believe in a happily ever after or dwell in the hope that there is someone for me

I have had various shades of relationship cocktails and the only worthy flavor I prefer is my relationship with myself.