Enigmatic Creature – Seductive Abs

 

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I really don’t know what it is about him that attracts me to him,

He is unlike any of the men I have been with or want to be with,

Each second that passes by makes this attraction I feel for him grow from a bubble to a cloud,

He is not a complete stranger,

We had a fling when we were teenagers out on their own for the first time,

A kiss here and there,

An attempt to make out,

A gentle touch to ignite the flame of desire,

A gentle caress when nobody’s watching,

But never making love.

I liked his charm, the sweet husky melody of his voice,

The soft ruffle of his hair, styled to imitate a teenage hero,

The tattooed arms, a green star on his arm,

The chains around his neck, giving him a tough manly appearance,

A well known figure,

I know we can never be together,

We both want different things from life,

For him a fling is enough to get yourself acquainted with each other,

I need to feel the real thing, the real tingly feeling of having a man all for yourself, someone you can rely on and someone who does not just value your beauty but your thoughts and persona,

My body wants him yet my heart knows I can never have him for myself,

He brings out the wildest of desires within me, wanting to feel the sweet pang of pain combined with pleasure,

I have no love for him, just an attraction, an itch I need to scratch,

His well toned body, those abs

drive me wild,

drowsing my mind with confusion and passion,

Distance separates us in real sense,

But instant messaging brings us closer,

He wants a sexy snapshot here and there,

We talk sexy and dirty,

Like its not me, but a hidden vixen buried within my soul,

Two different individuals,

Linked together,

wanting different things yet tied together.

A merciless fling this is,

Oh! Enigmatic Creature.

You’ll be the death of me.

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Shredded Hopes

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I often wonder how every instant in my life is clouded by the fear of failing,

I often marvel at how every second I am fearful of going through the worst tribulation,

I am often puzzled by how difficult life is turning out to be day after day,

Just when I feel this is is the worst that could ever happen to me, life throws me into another battle, worst than the former,

Just when I feel I have overcome a serious problem, another is thrown at my head, not giving me the opportunity to recover or evade the blow,

Failed relationships & Heartbreaks,

Financial setbacks,

Career issues,

family complications,

expecting too much,

everyone wanting a bit of you,

Sickness and Despair,

Sorrow and loneliness

I have been through it all,

How much more am I to endure?

How much more do I have to go through?

Is it never going to end?

When am I going to feel contentment and calm in my life?

When am I going to be genuinely happy with my life?

All the hopes, ambitions, aspirations that I once had

are fading

All the dreams and desires I once envisioned for myself

are dulling amidst the chaos of life

All the positivity, bravery, courage

are evaporating into thin air

Everything that I ever wanted is shredding into tiny droplets of despair

Hanging on to suck the breath out of me

Wanting to make me devoid of any kind of hope

or light

forcing me to succumb to anguish and frustration,

leading me to a path of darkness and melancholy,

Igniting an echo that flows endlessly around me,

Shredded Hopes

Shredded Hopes

Shredded Hopes

Cocktail of Relationships

 

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Every time I come across a couple holding hands or gazing into each other eyes’ oblivious of the fact that someone is observing them

Every instant that I happen to see a man eagerly wait for his woman at the gate,

Every time I am forced to attend a wedding or observe my friends falling in love, cuddling next to each other or sweet texting each other,

I feel a pang of jealousy erupt within my soul,

I feel a twinge of pain in my heart,

I realize a deep sense of loneliness lingers within my life and I constantly feel it nagging my thoughts,

I feel this void in my life which may never be fulfilled,

How often have I been in a one-sided relationship where I was the only one devoted and committed to making our relationship work?

How often have I been taken for a fool, waiting for a text or call, waiting for a hug or kiss when it was freely been given to another woman?

How many times have I been told, “You are never enough”

“You are too fat”

“You are too short”

“You are doing this wrong and that wrong”

How many times have I shed tears over heart breaks and humiliating remarks driving my sense of worth at the lowest?

How many times have my achievements been seen as mediocre and worthless when I have worked immensely hard to be where I am?

How many times have I been discarded like a filthy piece of trash for my beautiful friends?

How often have I been compared to my friends, utterly shattering my spirit and self-respect?

How often have I been ridiculed for my opinions and thoughts?

How many times have I been scared of introducing my boyfriend to my friends, fearful of having been dumped?

How many times do I hear my friends complain of not receiving any text or call from their boyfriends? The fights and arguments? The sweet makeup kiss?

I yearn to feel all this. How unfortunate that I never experienced true love nor received even a sincere bit of affection from any of my relationships?

I console myself with the belief that I am better off alone

I smile hoping my heart understands that I no longer believe in a happily ever after or dwell in the hope that there is someone for me

I have had various shades of relationship cocktails and the only worthy flavor I prefer is my relationship with myself.

Under a Blanket of Shiny Stars

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What does a human being need to survive in this world? Food? Clothes? Shelter?  Others would say we need love, care, affection, friendship or family. Everyone will have their own opinion but the consensus still remains that the basic needs every person needs to ensure survival is food, clothes, and shelter.

A large number of people receive these needs and take it for granted not realizing there are so many unfortunate individuals out there who have no access or means to get these things. On a larger scale, we have refugees, victims of war or political unrest, victims of natural hazards like floods, tsunamis, hurricanes, earthquakes. On another scale, we have orphans, street children, beggars.

Every morning on my way to work I pass these few young men sleeping across the trench on the pavement. Sometimes I pass by without any thought minding my business. At other times I think how I would fare if I were in their position. Not having shelter to shield themselves from the cold or rain, Not having a home where I could sit and watch television or read a book, Not having a place I could call my own.Not having a bed to sleep on.

Yet they continue to survive. They pick up discarded boxes and tear them to make a sort of sheet on which they could sleep. They have stones and logs for pillows. The ground is their daily bedroom. How fortunate are we that we have a home, clean bed sheets and a room to spend the night.

They sit under the trees or cover themselves with broken buckets to shield themselves from rain. They cover themselves with used bags of cement or leaves.

They earn a living by washing or cleaning cars as the traffic lights force the drivers to wait in long queues for more than an hour. Everyone has their own specific set of cars to look for. In case someone else approaches a car not belonging to their “client list” chaos and fights usually follow.

Sometimes they are such a nuisance. They tease and harass women or young girls passing by hoping to get a reaction out of them. I have many a time been told how beautiful I am or how nice it would be if they could lay their hands on me (which is quite scary and something they are very much capable of doing).  Sometimes they wait for unwary passengers or tourists and rob them of their belongings. Sometimes they just cause unnecessary mayhem by fighting and beating up each other with stones and bricks or whatever they can get their hands on.

The few coins they get for washing cars is usually spent on food or cigarettes and sometimes drugs. Some use the money for luring girls for their pleasure. It amazes me that these individuals hardly have enough to sustain themselves yet they have more than two or three children of their own who are forced to beg on the streets or turn into  hardened criminals and prostitution to get a single meal for the day. I understand they are human beings just like I am, they have needs and desires just like I do, but why do you have to resort to these behaviors? Why force your own daughter or wife to live a life you are living? Why not go to school? Primary education is free. Why not avoid causing chaos in the streets?

I was blessed to have an education, a safe home,and a good job. I do not have to beg for money or resort to harmful and illegal activities to get a few slices of bread. yet how many of us realize how privileged we are? We often look at these youth as a menace to society? As unneeded vermins? As criminals? Does not having a life we are accustomed to make them less of a human? Does not have a stable upbringing make them less deserving of life? Does our attitude towards them help to find a solution to these issues?

They are seen wearing rags and filthy clothes, using shoe strings as belts. Most of their clothes are hardly fit to be used as dressing attires. Sometimes they pick throw aways from garbage cans and alter them to their liking. Yet we have wardrobes full of dresses we will never wear and still continue adding up to our collection.

They have nothing yet they make the most of everything. We have everything yet we feel  we have nothing? We have homes, beds, chairs, tv and music systems, phones, delicious cuisines and so many things we hardly give any thought to how lucky we are.

They have a blanket of stars and the dark sky above their heads. They have the grasses and ground to lay for the night. They have trees for houses and the passersby for entertainment. They have rags to wear. They have broken heels or plastic bags for slippers.

All they are proud of possessing is a blanket of shiny stars which can never be snatched or stolen and for which no claim can ever be laid.