Sweet Tingly Butterflies Flapping Their Wings in my Heart

I am no stranger to heartbreak and heartache,

I have had my heart broken and shattered so many times I have lost count,

I have built up strong exteriors around my heart, which protect me from more pain and suffering,

But somehow my heart still hopes and yearns for some love, for someone who could genuinely care for me, make me smile, make all the struggles in life worth fighting for.

Alas, the heart is like a child that never gives up!!!!

I see him once a week on Saturday where I go for my weekend lunch,

The rest of the week goes by when tiny remembrances of him brush over my mind, making my heart flutter with excitement,

He’s always seated on the table next to mine, writing a report on some project,

Don’t ask me how I know, He spoke to me once,

and my heart skipped a beat!!

He monitors and evaluates projects, just the feel of these words is enough to get me all hyped up,

I love a man who writes , who does some sort of creative work.

He reads too!!! An added plus!!!

He’s cute, tall and that smile of his, a killer!!! That smile could cast a spell on femininity!!!!

His voice, a husky manly tone,

He’s a little shy, I catch bits of his glimpses on me,

I am as guilty as he is. I stare at him too,

Pretending to be lost in thought,

Or glancing over the book I am reading,

hoping to catch his eye, or just look at him for a teenie weenie bit,

It’s a game we play, stare with longing, with flirty gazes,

 

 

 

 

 

He isn’t like the other guys,

Straight away coming up to my table, asking for my number or trying to get too close too fast,

At times, I like this slowness, this old romance type attraction,

At times, my heart wishes he would make a move, ask for my number or say something other than just occasional smiles and glimpses,

Is he thinking about me the same way?

Is he feeling what I am feeling?

Am I constructing castles in the air?

Am I paving the way for another heartbreak?

I am scared, terrified that he may have someone else in his life,

That maybe it’s just me and my imagination running wild,

That there’s nothing here but infatuation,

But why does my heart wish for more?

Why does my heart beat faster when I see him walk towards his table?

Why does his voice strike a chord that matches with the music my heart hopes to create?

Why does his glance make butterflies flutter in my heart and everywhere else?

Why am I longing for him when I have no idea if he feels the same way about me?

Why do I smile while thinking of him?

Is this meant to be or is it just one of the many jokes karma is playing on me?

All I know is I like him and I wish for more,

Each second feels like ages and ages,

Why the anticipation? the fear? the panic?

Oh!!!! the butterflies, please stop fluttering as much as you do,

Please stop flapping your wings as hurriedly as you do,

until I know where I stand or what this all is about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Send Prison Inmate Magazines To Help Prisoners Develop The Habit of Reading Books (Source: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1z33K0/:J3@nt+71:iOjkK!v_/www.pressbox.co.uk/Business/Send_Prison_Inmate_Magazines_To_Help_Prisoners_Develop_The_Habit_of_Reading_Books_1619643.html)

Books have the unique ability to change minds and nurture thoughts in an individual’s life. I recently read an article about an initiative to develop the habit of reading among inmates in prisons. A lot of times we judge those who are in prison for their crimes. Undoubtedly, some of them are indeed hardened criminals and need to be punished for their actions, but how do we ensure that once released they do not go back to the same lifestyle that put them behind bars in the first place?

 

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Added: (Tue Sep 15 2015)

Pressbox (Press Release) – Good books surely have a great influence on people and can also change their course of life.This is the reason why everyone is encouraged to read books and prison inmates are also no exception. Studies show that most of the prisoners have below average education and it is also one reason for most of them to land up in prison. So the prison officials have come up with a program allowing family members of the prisoners to send books to prison inmates that are more likely read by them than those provided by the prison authorities as part of the “participation in reading & education programs”. But many may wonder how to send books to inmates, which is actually never a problem as you can find the online book store, offering you their services to send books for prison inmates that were chosen by you.

So if you have any family member or friend in the jail you can choose from a vast range of books offered by the store to send across to the prison inmates that gives them the freedom to travel through the world though locked up behind the bars. Good books would surely give them a hope to change and you can send across books on self-help, biographies, prison inmate magazines, comic books, sports books and anything that would catch their interest to cultivate their reading habit. Once they start reading books naturally they shall refine their choice for best books which would also help them to enhance their skills and give them the confidence to live in the society once free from the prison.

Studies in fact show that those who participate in this reading and education programs during their prison term are less likely to return to the prison compared to those who don’t show any interest in this program. As family members send the books they are an emotional connection that encourages them to go through the books that are specifically sent to them. So whether you want to choose prison inmate magazines or any other books like career, health and fitness, bible or whatever there is no need to hesitate as to how to send books to the inmates as it is taken care by the online bookstore from which you buy the books.

However, you should note that all books have to be approved by the prison authorities before they are handed over to the prisoners and in case of any rejection even after going for an appeal the book store shall refund your amount.

 

NON FICTION BOOKS I INTEND TO READ AFTER BEING IMPRESSED WITH AN INTERESTING ARTICLE:- 10 Books That Changed My Life (Source: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1JvAAv/:5-O+4ub8:fkNE3LDA/www.akumu.me/single-post/2017/05/17/10-Books-That-Changed-My-Life)

I read a lot of non-fiction books. And though I wouldn’t call myself a prolific reader, I will admit to being a little obsessed.

 Okay – A LOT obsessed.

 Sometimes it feels as though there aren’t enough lifetimes to read all the books I’ve got lined up in my list.

 So what’s my criteria?

 Any book that allows me to better myself or think in a totally new way.

 Lots of books have done that. But these ten picks went above and beyond. It’s hardly an exaggeration. They literally changed my life.

 They either changed the way I think, the way I speak or the way I act. Basically, the way I live.

 So it’s no surprise that I have read some of them two or three times over – and will keep doing so every couple of years.

 Hopefully they’ve changed or they’ll change your life as much as they did mine.

1. Mastery by Robert Greene

 

 This one’s an obvious first. Robert Greene rocked my world with The 48 Laws of Power so picking up this book was a no-brainer.

 Greene covers the lives of historical masters and contemporary outliers with such detail, it’s impossible to not get inspired. According to him, we can all reach mastery in anything we put our minds to if we are willing to work as hard and as persistently as the geniuses he expounds on did.

 I’ve not finished reading the book yet.

 Mostly because I don’t want to get to the last page.

 Yeah, it’s that good!

 2. The Gifts Of Imperfection by Brené Brown

 

This one was a total life changer. It changed the way I relate to others and most importantly, how I relate to myself.

 It’s a book written by a researcher of Shame and Vulnerability so you can imagine just how much juicy data it comes from. Dr. Brené Brown doesn’t just talk about her findings. She also shares her personal experiences with shame and vulnerability and this gives the book such a personal touch.

 In essence, the book is a perfectly-written instruction manual about wholehearted living (the decision to cultivate courage, compassion, and connection in an effort to live from a place of worthiness) and how to accept our imperfections.

 I got to read it at a time when I really needed to look at my imperfections in a different light. It was suggested by a dear friend who also read it at a point in their life when they absolutely needed it.

 3.Linchpin by Seth Godin

Seth Godin is right up there in my list of favourite writers. His simple prose and chopped up sections make his books really easy reads.

 Linchpin was a game changer for me.

 Godin goes deep with the idea that the best way to avoid being replaced in what you do is to be truly indispensable. Something we’ve all certainly thought about. But this book gives you the play by play of how to achieve it.

 Godin says you need to be an artist in order to be indispensable. By ‘artist’ he means adding some soul and emotion to your work – an idea that will certainly transform how you look at your work, your career and your life in general.

 The words in this book have stayed with me ever since.

 4. The Element by Sir Ken Robinson

 

After watching Sir Ken Robinson’s highly-acclaimed TED Talk, I decided right away that I had to pick up his book. And it didn’t disappoint.

 The Element is a book that inspires readers to find their own unique passion. It follows the ideas that Sir Ken Robinson spoke about on the TED stage back in 2005.

The book asserts that finding your Element is not just good for you – it’s great for the community at large. Another over-arching point the book makes is that educational systems need to help students find their Element.

 The knighted author also uses anecdotes about well-known personalities to illustrate his points in this book.

 It’s certainly a book worth picking up.

 5. The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau

 I’m almost certain I picked up this book right after I was fired from a job I had put a lot of hard work on. The book helped me to pick myself up and tread on in the path of lots of resistance.

 As the name suggests, the book is about how to live an unconventional life.

 Chris Guillebeau makes a strong case about how to embrace non-conformity and live the life of your dreams. Just like he did/does.

 What I loved about the book was the fact that Guillebeau makes things seem doable. Especially those things we are so afraid of trying.

 The book has a way of giving you the balls to go for what you want.

 6. The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss

 I don’t know where to begin with this one.

 I am hoping my former bosses are not reading this – but I attribute my disdain for an office environment to this book right here.

 It’s also because of this book that I seek some kind of freedom in all areas related to my livelihood.

 The 4-Hour Work Week is pretty much a Bible for digital nomads, remote workers and entrepreneurs. The idea is not necessarily about working 4 hours a week only. It’s more about how to get the freedom to do what’s most important in your life.

 It’s about not deferring your life but living it fully in the present.

 Ferriss shares his personal experiences alongside inspiring words that’ll get you off your butt in case you’ve been looking to escape a mediocre existence.

 7. Flinch by Julien Smith

I remember this being one of the first books I got on my tablet’s kindle app. And it was a great choice!

 It’s basically a guidebook on how to step outside your comfort zone.

 There are times when we don’t go for what will make a huge difference in our lives because we flinch. We avoid progressing because we feel fear creeping in. The book emphasizes that yes fear will be there, but what’s important is to move forward despite it. 

 Julien Smith is quite gifted at presenting this overdone subject in a refreshing way. Flinch is definitely worth a read. And it’ll take just under an hour to finish.

 8. Wealth Can’t Wait by David Osborn and Paul Morris

 This is one I am still in the process of reading. And I must tell you – I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

 I decided to read it because (I must admit) I’m not the most financially savvy person out there. Nor I’m I as entrepreneurial as I would like to be.

 But as I read the book, I realised it’s about more than just how to manage your money and how to become wealthy. It is a guidebook that’ll switch your perspective on a large number of things that go on inside your head.

 This book will teach you how to identify the things that push you further away from the kind of life you imagine for yourself.

It’s a book that’s worth reading over and over again.

 9. You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero

 This one’s a book that reeks of “self-helpiness” but make no mistake – it’s different.

 It’s different because Jen Sincero is a gifted and sincere story teller.

 As the name suggests, the book’s about how to get you to become the badass you’ve always wanted to be – without the doubts that you’ve been dragging around in your head.

 It follows Sincero’s own experiences coupled with some inspirational notions that are set to light a fire under your butt.

 I totally recommended it.

 10. The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday

 

If you’ve always been curious to learn any kind of Philosophy, then this book is right up your alley.

 It is not a Philosophy book for people who just want to sit and think.

 Nope.

 It’s for people who want to act.

 In the book, Ryan Holiday talks about using Stoicism as a mental model. The main idea is that we can reframe the obstacles we face in order to push forward towards success and fulfillment in life.

 The book is filled with anecdotes of how some of the most successful people in history applied stoicism to overcome challenging situations.

 Trust me, you’ll won’t be able to look at your problems in the same way ever again.

 It’s definitely worth a read.

Shine Bright

 

img1500191868851Does a woman need to be a with a man to have a complete existence? Does a woman really need to have a man in life to survive or give meaning to her life? Does a woman really need to have a man in her life for companionship? Why does a single woman have to be considered a lonely soul? Why does a single woman have to conform to the society’s standard of love and marriage?

I am a 26 year old single woman. I have no issues with my singlehood or the absence of a male love interest in my life. All my life I have wanted to be loved by a man, someone who would sweep me off my feet and love me forever. I still remember during my high school days, how I would yearn to be one of my friends’ who have a guy pursue her and claim she was his love, how I wished my friend was the one who was asked about my likes and dislikes and how they could win me over.

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Alas! That never happened for me. I was the relationship advisor everyone came to ask for help. I was the one who resolved conflicts and love fights. I was the one who consoled broken hearts or buried her feelings because the guy I wanted saw me as just a friend or had feelings for my best friend. Obviously, this crushed my heart but I kept on hoping maybe someday it would be different.

Yes it was different once I grew up and had guys pursue me, very different from what I envisioned love to be. I was used, betrayed, hurt, disappointed and heart-broken. Sounds like cliché, yes. I now realize that I was never happy in those relationships and they were not the best for me. I accepted them for what they were – liars, cheaters, players, egomaniacs who were in love with the idea of making me confirm to what they expected me to be not the real me as I was. I was the next best thing for them – someone who was available when they needed someone the most, the girl who put her desires aside for them, the girl who texted them first thing in the morning, someone who loved them unconditionally and fought with the world and her family for them. But in the end she always turned up hurt, broken-hearted and depressed.

After several heart breaks I realized I actually was so in love with the idea of falling in love that I said yes to the first guy who actually asked me out. I so wanted to feel a sweet kiss on my lips so much that I let the selfish player taint me with his kisses even when it meant nothing to him. I was so desperate for having a guy I could take to meet my parents that I tried to right the wrongs and imperfections a man had when he had no intention of changing for the better. I blamed all the guys who hurt and disappointed me but now I have let it all go. I have no regrets or hard feelings. I am at peace with myself.

I now realize I do not need a man to complete my life. I need to be complete and whole myself before I look for my significant other. There are so many things I can do that do not require my having a boyfriend. I can read my books, go to the library, go for hiking or for dining our discovering myself, growing as a person till I am ready to pursue a relationship.

I have a nice job, wonderful family and friends I can talk to and share my life with. I have dreams and hopes I need to fulfill and achieve before I set out to conquer my heart. I am a star, slightly cracked from all the hardships of life but shining nonetheless. I am a star out to twinkle and explore the galaxies and shine as bright as possible. Most of all, I am for the first time completely content with my independence and freedom, I am seeking self acceptance from within my soul and proud of myself as a woman.

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Yet the world around me has set out to intrude my contentment and independence. You are growing old, you are 26. When will you get married and have kids? Everyone around you is getting married – why don’t you find someone as well? Why are you always reading in a corner? Go out, check the world, meet guys, have fun.

God!!! I am happy just the way I am. I know I am 26 and I do not want to rush into a relationship. I am strong, independent and happy with myself. When love will set in in my life, it won’t be because I am desperate or lonely or because everyone wants me to settle down.  It will be because I am ready, my heart is ready and the one I love is the person I can spend a lifetime with.

Till them I will shine bright, and at times my sparkle may dull or dim a little but I will not stop shining!!!

HELP HELP – Looking for my father

 

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In life, you come across a lot of people, some who leave a significant mark in your heart and others whom you forget along with time. I generally like to sit quietly and observe people around me, try to imagine what kind of lives they lead, what they must be thinking or how they justify their actions. I have been doing this since I was a young child, and I have learnt a lot just from observing and listening to people.

Last week, I was at the office when a young man passed by the office. His demeanour was suspicious, he kept on looking around the office, taking a few steps backwards and forwards as if he was weighing the odds of entering the office. I was a little hesitant to attend to him but I did not want to appear rude and so I politely asked how I could help him.

“I really don’t know how to explain it to you. I am a bit confused” he responded. This was a surprise for me. His reluctance to explain what’s going on with him and the confusion made me feel a little awkward. He wore a pink long-sleeved shirt with creases around the shoulders, blue pants and a black backpack on his shoulder. He might have been 23 or 24 years old. He avoided eye contact which many would regard as a sign of lying but something about him forced me to try talking to him, to see if he genuinely needed assistance.

“Well, you will have to explain what exactly you need otherwise I will not be able to assist you.”

“My name is Michael and I am from Uganda,” he began explaining. “I am looking for my father whom I last saw when I was four years old.  My belongings – my phone, clothes, money and passport were stolen.  I need a lawyer’s assistance to help me in locating the whereabouts of my father. I could not decide whether he was saying the truth or lying at that point so I informed him that we are a corporate consulting firm and generally do not deal with immigration or criminal issues. However, to ensure he does not lose heart I asked him to leave his contact details so I can share his situation with the directors and lawyers, and inform him if they decide to represent him in his case.

“I do not have a phone. I told you all my belongings were stolen.” I sensed his frustration but I told him I will speak to the Manager but I cannot guarantee that they will be able to help him out since they already have lots of cases to handle. I directed him to a nearby law firm which generally deals with such cases.

He thanked me and just opened the door when a thought struck me and I called him back. I inquired if he had visited the Ugandan embassy and asked for their help. “I spoke to them but they said they can’t help me since my issue is personal. If it was a state or governmental issue they would have helped me out.

My curiosity took hold of me and I asked him why he was looking for his father in Tanzania when he was born in Uganda. He calmly explained that his father worked for the military and was posted to Uganda during the war eras. He met his mother there and a year later he was born. When he was four years old, his father came beck to Tanzania and never returned. He took a photograph out of his bag and showed me an old faded photograph of a middle-aged tall man sitting on a wooden chair with a young boy on his lap. I could not see any resemblance between the child in the photo and the boy standing in front of me, but children change as they grow older so I did not pay much attention to it.

I asked him whether he had been to the military headquarters. If he was in the army they might know where he is residing or any related information. He said the military could not locate his father based on a photograph and he did not have any other identification related to his father. I felt sorry for the young boy but I could not really do anything on my own. I was not even sure if he was saying the truth or was just lying to me.

Another question popped into my head and I inquired why he was looking for his father after so many years.He sadly said he lost his mother recently passed away and gave him his father’s name urging him to find the man so he could help him. He had no one else besides his mother to look and care for him.

I was very affected by his story and asked if he had reported to the police. Maybe they could help him file a missing person report and commence an enquiry. He said he had contacted them and proceeded to show me a loss report of all his stolen belongings. I suggested that he should take help from the media – newspapers, radio. They had a wider reach and could be a great help to him. He said the radio station asked him for 15,000 shillings to air his story and to help announce that he is looking for his father.

I am a Daddy’s girl and being miles away from him is a daily struggle for me. I love him so much, I can happily give my life to save his. Maybe it was that father angle that induced me so I gave him 10,000 shillings to help him out. He thanked me profoundly and left the office.

As he was leaving, one of my colleagues saw him and asked, “How much did he con from you?” I was puzzled thinking he could be joking. I explained the story he had narrated to me and how I had wanted to help him. He smiled and told me, “the guy is totally fake person and liar. He goes around offices and shops asking for help so he can get some money. He presented the same story a few days earlier to the nearby shops and offices as well.”

I honestly do not know if he was lying or saying the truth. I do not know which version is the accurate one. I rest in peace knowing I did a good deed. Whether he lied or not, let God be the judge.

We can lie to the world but not to ourselves. I want to start the day with a clear and not guilty conscience.

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