I am no stranger to heartbreak and heartache,
I have had my heart broken and shattered so many times I have lost count,
I have built up strong exteriors around my heart, which protect me from more pain and suffering,
But somehow my heart still hopes and yearns for some love, for someone who could genuinely care for me, make me smile, make all the struggles in life worth fighting for.
Alas, the heart is like a child that never gives up!!!!
I see him once a week on Saturday where I go for my weekend lunch,
The rest of the week goes by when tiny remembrances of him brush over my mind, making my heart flutter with excitement,
He’s always seated on the table next to mine, writing a report on some project,
Don’t ask me how I know, He spoke to me once,
and my heart skipped a beat!!
He monitors and evaluates projects, just the feel of these words is enough to get me all hyped up,
I love a man who writes , who does some sort of creative work.
He reads too!!! An added plus!!!
He’s cute, tall and that smile of his, a killer!!! That smile could cast a spell on femininity!!!!
His voice, a husky manly tone,
He’s a little shy, I catch bits of his glimpses on me,
I am as guilty as he is. I stare at him too,
Pretending to be lost in thought,
Or glancing over the book I am reading,
hoping to catch his eye, or just look at him for a teenie weenie bit,
It’s a game we play, stare with longing, with flirty gazes,
He isn’t like the other guys,
Straight away coming up to my table, asking for my number or trying to get too close too fast,
At times, I like this slowness, this old romance type attraction,
At times, my heart wishes he would make a move, ask for my number or say something other than just occasional smiles and glimpses,
Is he thinking about me the same way?
Is he feeling what I am feeling?
Am I constructing castles in the air?
Am I paving the way for another heartbreak?
I am scared, terrified that he may have someone else in his life,
That maybe it’s just me and my imagination running wild,
That there’s nothing here but infatuation,
But why does my heart wish for more?
Why does my heart beat faster when I see him walk towards his table?
Why does his voice strike a chord that matches with the music my heart hopes to create?
Why does his glance make butterflies flutter in my heart and everywhere else?
Why am I longing for him when I have no idea if he feels the same way about me?
Why do I smile while thinking of him?
Is this meant to be or is it just one of the many jokes karma is playing on me?
All I know is I like him and I wish for more,
Each second feels like ages and ages,
Why the anticipation? the fear? the panic?
Oh!!!! the butterflies, please stop fluttering as much as you do,
Please stop flapping your wings as hurriedly as you do,
until I know where I stand or what this all is about.