I really don’t know what it is about him that attracts me to him,
He is unlike any of the men I have been with or want to be with,
Each second that passes by makes this attraction I feel for him grow from a bubble to a cloud,
He is not a complete stranger,
We had a fling when we were teenagers out on their own for the first time,
A kiss here and there,
An attempt to make out,
A gentle touch to ignite the flame of desire,
A gentle caress when nobody’s watching,
But never making love.
I liked his charm, the sweet husky melody of his voice,
The soft ruffle of his hair, styled to imitate a teenage hero,
The tattooed arms, a green star on his arm,
The chains around his neck, giving him a tough manly appearance,
A well known figure,
I know we can never be together,
We both want different things from life,
For him a fling is enough to get yourself acquainted with each other,
I need to feel the real thing, the real tingly feeling of having a man all for yourself, someone you can rely on and someone who does not just value your beauty but your thoughts and persona,
My body wants him yet my heart knows I can never have him for myself,
He brings out the wildest of desires within me, wanting to feel the sweet pang of pain combined with pleasure,
I have no love for him, just an attraction, an itch I need to scratch,
His well toned body, those abs
drive me wild,
drowsing my mind with confusion and passion,
Distance separates us in real sense,
But instant messaging brings us closer,
He wants a sexy snapshot here and there,
We talk sexy and dirty,
Like its not me, but a hidden vixen buried within my soul,
Two different individuals,
wanting different things yet tied together.
A merciless fling this is,
Oh! Enigmatic Creature.
You’ll be the death of me.
A sense of dread gradually creeps into my mind,
awakening the fear I have tried to bury deep down in my soul,
forcing me to face the challenge I am not prepared to witness,
urging me to take a leap of faith I am not sure of surviving,
Why does it feel like no matter what I do, it’s never enough?
Why does it feel like I am trapped within this world?
Why am I scared of failure?
Why have I lost the ability to joyfully smile and face life?
Why do I hide my real desires frightened of scorn and ridicule?
Why am I scared of what the world might think of me?
I am like an empty canvass
fearful of being ripped and tainted by the extreme galore of colors?
How will I be anything but an empty canvass if this fear fails to diminish from my life?
Among the darkest clouds in my life, your light shines brighter than the star,
In the chaos of daily life, yours is the hand that leads me to peace and tranquility,
When the clock of sorrow ticks around my life, yours are the arms that hold me tight
When the wave of sadness washes me over, yours are the words and gestures that put a smile on my face,
When I feel lonely and lost, your voice is the guide that leads me home or close to my destination,
When I do wrong, yours is the guidance that I seek,
When I am heartbroken, yours is the gentleness that heals my wounds,
When I am scared, yours is the protection I seek,
When I achieve even the tiniest bit of success, yours is the loudest applause and praise that I hear,
When I raise my hands in prayer to the Almighty God, Yours is the blessing that I wish bestowed upon me,
I am surely endowed with divine grace to have a father like you,
And on your special day, the day you were born, I wish for nothing else but your happiness and good health,
I wish for understanding and love so I can always cherish your presence in my life,
I pray for wisdom and courage so I may hold your hand when pain strikes your body,
I pray for your existence in my life and my future children so you may impart your wise words to them,
Happy Birthday, Papa!!!!
I Love You.