Reluctant Heartbeat




All I ever wanted was to have a sweet caring person who loved me just the way I was,

With all my flaws,

With all my imperfections,

With all my craziness.

All I ever wished for was to have a shoulder I lay my head on,

A sleepy smiling face I could wake up to every morning,

A gentle soul I could cuddle with,

An honest person I could share my deepest fears with,

A strong chest I could bury myself in when everything went amiss.

All I ever desired was to have a man who appreciates my existence,

Who genuinely cares for me,

Who loves me not for my wordly possessions or beauty, but for my heart and cannot imagine staying away from my side for even a second,

Who is there to wipe my tears when I am sad,

Who is there to make me smile,

Who doesn’t abandon me when I fail or make mistakes,

Who doesn’t laugh at my dreams,

Who gives me hope in despair.

All I ever dreamed was to have a relationship where I gave love and received love,

Where my opinions were considered,

Where I was treasured,

And where we both grew as individuals and challenged each other to be the best we could be.

But guess what I got in reality?

False love,

Betrayal and heart break,

Lies, Dishonesty and immaturity,

Pain and suffering,

Loneliness and endless agony,

Insults and scars.

I am broken beyond repair,

Wiped out of every ounce of hope,

Doomed to never be able to love again,

For I no longer have a heart but a fragile petal withered to its last,

Even if I do find love,

I will always carry the marks of heartbreak and heartache to my grave.

I have a reluctant heart,

That will always hesistate to love and trust again.

Reluctant Heart.



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