Dear Baby Girl,
I don’t know if you will ever have the chance to read this letter that I write today. I have no idea if I will ever be blessed with a beautiful girl who would be an exact replica of me, loving to read books, having a passion for exploring the world, a smile that would melt daddy’s heart all the time, crazy , unpredictable,and most of all a good person at heart.
Nonetheless, I would like you to know and understand my experiences of love, heartbreak, and relationships in general. I have believed to be in love not once but a lot of times, so much that I now wonder whether I was actually in love or just in love with the idea of being in love. Love is a special feeling that should make your heart skip a beat every time you look at your beloved. It should make your heart flutter with excitement and light up a burning flame of desire that will forever flicker with the brightest glow. I know this sounds so cliche as if real life was like the pages of a romantic novel. Whatever the case the man you love should never make you settle for less than what you deserve.
I always expected love to make me feel giddy with excitement, make my heart race faster and brighten my life like the rays of sunshine. When I was in love, nothing like this actually happened. But I went on hoping maybe later it would happen, maybe if I stayed I would feel it. But it never occurred. Only get into a relationship you feel is worth fighting for and would give you real happiness. Hoping things will change in the future is like believing you can change the colors of the leaves to green in autumn which is impossible.
Love should never compel or force you to do things you are not comfortable with. Love should give you a chance to go through with things at the pace you set. It should stand by you when you are scared and help you to get to safety. Love should not blackmail you into doing things you would never have done otherwise. So many times in love I have done things that I am not proud of, so many times I have acted in ways that were not only harmful but also made me feel ashamed, so many times I have sacrificed my own desires for theirs, so many times I have accepted their excuses and lies despite knowing how lame and false they are. Never feel guilty for standing up for your beliefs or desires. Never perform any act you do not feel comfortable with. If they truly love you they would not force you to do such things in the first place.
Always remember to speak your mind. Whatever you feel and think, share it with them. Don’t keep it to yourself. Don’t stay silent just because you are scared of losing them or starting up an argument with them.
Love should never just take something from you. It should let you be on the receiving end as well. In all my relationships I have only asked for love, honesty, care and support never material things. Not because they could not afford to give it to me but because I could get whatever I wanted myself. If I wanted a car, I could get one for myself. If I wanted a dress, I could get it myself. Why would I ask a man to get me something I could get for myself? But you know what the sad part is. The little that I asked was too much for them. I kept on allowing them to take whatever they wanted from me – money, my time, affection, love, anything that they needed leaving me like a barren tree devoid of any fruit. Never let a man treat you like a carpet laid at the entrance of a house where he can step on and wipe his feel leaving their dirt and grit on you.
Love should give you the time you need so you get to know each other. Love should not ignore you and see you only when it is convenient for them. If someone claims to love you they would make an effort to spend time with you. They would make you a priority not an option. For a person who does not value your presence in his life complaining about your absence once you leave makes no sense. If you have to beg and call till dusk just to talk to him there is no way the man loves you.
I have been through relationships where I had to send millions of texts, waiting for them to respond only to end up being ignored. I would call and call, but no response. I kept on waiting listening to their fibble excuses of being tied up with work, having a lot to do and just accepted the justification. Do not ever do that. You should not be the only one waiting for him to call or waiting for an answer.
Never fight for a relationship that makes me you feel lonelier or as if you were single. The purpose of a relationship is companionship. If you are not getting that what is the whole point of having a man? If he is never available for you, does not call you at night or plan outings with you, never texts you back chances are he already has another relationship to care for.
So be wise when it comes to love and relationships.
And remember love is a blessing. Don’t let anything make you feel as if it were a curse.