The Ache In My Heart

Every time I think of you a strange wave of sadness hits my soul

Every time I remember you the strained smile on my face vanishes

Every moment I realize I love you much more than you ever will I can’t stop tears flowing from my eyes

Every second that passes by I feel the distance between us widen more and more

Every day that comes I feel the loneliness creep in and settle over me

Every instant I feel the tides of memory wiping out every trace of me in your life

I know you don’t deserve my unconditional love

I know I don’t matter to you anymore

Yet my heart succumbs to the pain you inflict

Coz I need a part of you in my life

Even if it makes me bleed to death.

 

Every time the clock ticks by I feel your image blur a little more

Every time my heart beats for you I feel your contempt and disgust towards me

Every moment I realize how easy it is for you to just pretend I don’t exist

Every second that passes by I feel the sharp stab of your broken promises

I know you don’t deserve my endless love

I know I am just a sweet nothing to you

Yet my heart years to feel the pain

Coz that is the only way to prove you exist

Even if it kills every shred of my life.

 

Every time I recall the feel of my hand in yours I clench my fist to wipe it away

Every time I remember that first kiss I bite my lip to make it fade

Every moment I realize what meant the world to me meant just a passing affair to you

Every second that passes by I realize how selfish you are

I know you should only be bestowed with hatred

Yet my heart wishes for you to come back

Coz that is the only way I won’t forget you

Even if it envelopes me into a dark world of lies and false hopes.

 

Every time I remember the sweet nothings you whispered I feel like crumpling the sounds and stomping them away

Every time I remember your caress, your enticing touch I hope to shun it all away

Every second that passes by I realize how much unjustified priority I gave you in my life

I know I should let you go your own way

Yet I don’t want to move even a step ahead without you

Coz that is the only way I can convince my soul you aren’t just a figment of my imagination

Even if it blazes my life into burning flames of heat.

 

Every time I yearn for your arms around me I feel like plunging into a deep valley

Every time I yearn for your love I feel like rupturing my heart into a million pieces

Every second that passes by I realize how inhumane you are

I know the only person you can love is yourself

Yet I keep on praying for you to love me like you did before

Even if it was just a means of tainting my purity

Coz that is the only way I can console my breaking heart it will heal

Even if it wipes out my existence from this very earth.

 

Coz I need a part you even in my afterlife

So my soul can rest in eternal peace.

 

Coz I would rather have a bit of you than have nothing at all.

 

Coz  I would rather feel your painful betrayal than feel nothing at all.

 

Coz I would rather dream of you than have you transform into a nightmare.

 

Coz I would rather die loving you

 

Till my last breath.

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