The Ache In My Heart

Every time I think of you a strange wave of sadness hits my soul

Every time I remember you the strained smile on my face vanishes

Every moment I realize I love you much more than you ever will I can’t stop tears flowing from my eyes

Every second that passes by I feel the distance between us widen more and more

Every day that comes I feel the loneliness creep in and settle over me

Every instant I feel the tides of memory wiping out every trace of me in your life

I know you don’t deserve my unconditional love

I know I don’t matter to you anymore

Yet my heart succumbs to the pain you inflict

Coz I need a part of you in my life

Even if it makes me bleed to death.

 

Every time the clock ticks by I feel your image blur a little more

Every time my heart beats for you I feel your contempt and disgust towards me

Every moment I realize how easy it is for you to just pretend I don’t exist

Every second that passes by I feel the sharp stab of your broken promises

I know you don’t deserve my endless love

I know I am just a sweet nothing to you

Yet my heart years to feel the pain

Coz that is the only way to prove you exist

Even if it kills every shred of my life.

 

Every time I recall the feel of my hand in yours I clench my fist to wipe it away

Every time I remember that first kiss I bite my lip to make it fade

Every moment I realize what meant the world to me meant just a passing affair to you

Every second that passes by I realize how selfish you are

I know you should only be bestowed with hatred

Yet my heart wishes for you to come back

Coz that is the only way I won’t forget you

Even if it envelopes me into a dark world of lies and false hopes.

 

Every time I remember the sweet nothings you whispered I feel like crumpling the sounds and stomping them away

Every time I remember your caress, your enticing touch I hope to shun it all away

Every second that passes by I realize how much unjustified priority I gave you in my life

I know I should let you go your own way

Yet I don’t want to move even a step ahead without you

Coz that is the only way I can convince my soul you aren’t just a figment of my imagination

Even if it blazes my life into burning flames of heat.

 

Every time I yearn for your arms around me I feel like plunging into a deep valley

Every time I yearn for your love I feel like rupturing my heart into a million pieces

Every second that passes by I realize how inhumane you are

I know the only person you can love is yourself

Yet I keep on praying for you to love me like you did before

Even if it was just a means of tainting my purity

Coz that is the only way I can console my breaking heart it will heal

Even if it wipes out my existence from this very earth.

 

Coz I need a part you even in my afterlife

So my soul can rest in eternal peace.

 

Coz I would rather have a bit of you than have nothing at all.

 

Coz  I would rather feel your painful betrayal than feel nothing at all.

 

Coz I would rather dream of you than have you transform into a nightmare.

 

Coz I would rather die loving you

 

Till my last breath.

Crushed Soul

Someone once told me to believe in fairy tales and magic

Someone once told to believe in miracles

Someone once told me to believe in charming princes’ with majestic horses

Someone once told me to believe in knights with shining armours

Someone once urged me to indulge in the great fantasy of love

Someone once urged me to weave a tale of solace and deep bliss in my soul

Someone once urged me to wish over a rapid bolt of shooting stars

Someone once urged me to sing along a beautiful melody

Someone once urged me to step up and dance to the vibrant flow of rhythm and drum beats

Someone once told me to smile in the face of despair

Someone once told me to build glass castles in the air

Someone once told me to swoon over a charismatic warrior

Someone once told me to take a leap of faith and fall into his arms

Someone once told me to wish over a shining star

Someone once urged to step into their footprints

Someone once urged me to feel the exotic whisper of love

Someone once urged to indulge the mischief in the wildest zone of my being

Someone once urged me to feel the smooth touch of gentle caresses

Someone once urged me to fight the demons blocking my path

Someone once told me to glance into a crystal ball

Someone once told me to wear a magnificent pearl around my neck

Someone once told me to shine like a colourful sparkling jewel

Someone once urged me to blow over a petal

Someone once urged me to chase away a butterfly

But no one told me charming princes and knights in shining armours will cast me into a web lies

No one told me miracles are just a figment of my imagination

No one told me magic can never heal a broken heart

No one warned me how my heart would bleed after stabs of doubt and misery

No one guessed how my life would turn into a buzz of haphazard melodies

No one knew how burnt out the soles on my feet would sting

No one told me how each piece of the shattering glass castle would tear and break my spirit

No one told me how every warrior will pass by me shadowing my life with dark dust and filth

No one warned me of the endless ache when you are thrown into a river of stones and rocks

No one warned me of the endless ache when you are thrown into a river of stones and rocks

No one guessed how shooting stars would laugh on my plight

No one ever told me how much I would lose a bit of myself each time I cast my print on another footstep

No one told me of impact whispers of love would have on my broken heart

No one warned me of the harsh consequence of mischief in the core of my heart

No one warned me of the prick of the sweet caress forcing my wounds to shed every drop of blood in me

No one told me in the world of demons no angels thrive

No one guessed how cracked crystal balls cast deadly and evil spells

No one told me pearls could turn into tight ropes sucking out every breath of mine

No one told me pearls lose their shine over time

No one warned me of imposing death on a flower after plucking out each of its petal

No one guessed I would never be able to hold a butterfly in my hands

Every belief I had is on a death spell

Every wish I had is now a curse

All the faith I had is shaken out

All the courage I had is dwindling

All the trust I had has disappeared

All the confidence I had is vanished

All the certainty I had is extinct

All the love I had is buried under pits of fire

All the hopes I had are crushed

Nothing is left within me except a wall of nothingness

A dark void

Endless grief and sorrow.

No salvation.

No rescue.