Life as a scene in a movie

Life is like a scene in a movie. We have the lead actor, actress, producer, singer and director. Every character equally contributes towards completion of the movie.

Some characters play a very minor role, for instance, the dancers who support the lead actor as he sways to match the rhythm and beat of the song. The singer gives voice to the lifeless words on a piece of paper. The singer is supported by a number of individuals whose voice is only heard in chorus.

While we watch an artist dancing our eyes are fixed on him only. When we hear a song play our ears hear only the tune of the artist. We never pay much attention to the dancers in the background or the singers in a chorus.

When a movie is nominated for an award its only the main characters who are awarded. When a song hits the blockbuster chart only the lead singer is awarded.

What about those artists who are featured only in the background? Why aren’t they rewarded? Why doesn’t the audience appreciate their contribution? They move and shake their bodies to the same music. They give voice to the same song.

Some people in life are like the famous celebrities we observe in movies. They are well known, successful, and greatly admired.
Others are the background artists. No matter how hard they try they are seldom blessed with the limelight.

So where do you stand? Does your life represent the main artist or the support artists?

The other side of loneliness

Every person has their better half whose absence often causes a sense of helplessness and despair. You could be amidst a large crowd yet feel all alone without the other half.

Such is the emptiness that not even utter devotion to God can fill the void of their absence.

Loneliness can never leave one’s life. It can temporarily be forgotten or hidden but it will eventually  surface.

It can be covered with a smile or courageous attitude yet it will reveal its presence within a second.

It can be shadowed in daylight yet it will cast its presence in the darkest of hours.

It can be voiced by sound or words yet its effect will be reflected even in silence.

It can be enveloped in the deepest  corners of one’s soul yet crop up with the slightest pull.

It can obsess one’s thought yet elude any form of explanation.

It can break one’s spirit yet ignite hope for togetherness.

It can build lives yet completely destroy lives.

It just depends on which side of loneliness you stand. Are you in that side that shelters hope of togetherness? Or are you on that dark side that can rip lives apart just to feel a tiny fraction of belonging?

The Silent Love

Love is a feeling that can invade the darkest of souls and ignite the flame of affection and selfless devotion. In a life that’s filled with unfulfilled dreams and aspirations, only love can impose a purpose and desire to prosper.

But love is seldom perfect as portrayed in movies or books. Love is like the ghosts everyone mentions but rarely has anyone come across them.

I have loved countless of times only to end up lonely and desperate to “unlove” myself out of it. I have been hurt, disrespected, humiliated and abused in almost all of my relationships. At times i have stayed up all night wondering whether i was truly in love or was i in love with the idea of being in love.

The only instance i felt truly loved and appreciated was with a kindred soul who was of a different religion, race,  culture , background and attitude.  He came like the wind that surprises you with its force and sudden pressure. He touched not only the flesh on my body but the soul hidden underneath. He put his hand forth to lead me to a path of roses where he bore the thorns and i bore the petals.

He cast his feet on the scorching sand so i wouldn’t get blistered .  He lay his arms around me so i wouldn’t shiver in the cold. He wiped out the filth so i would get the pure. He kept the hard shell so i would eat the tender meal. He lit the candle so i wouldn’t bear the darkness. He opened the door so i could walk into his abode.

He provided a plain white canvas so i could add colors and patterns.  He lay on the rough floor so i could feel the smooth surface of silk.

“What do i lack”? You ask. Why can’t we spend our lives together till death do us apart. Why can’t we live our own imperfect fairy tale? What do i lack? What have i done wrong?

My answer is ” you don’t deserve a weak soul like mine. You don’t deserve a soul who is bound by tradition and obligation. You don’t need a woman who is scared of standing up for your love. You don’t need a woman who will never rid herself of the chains at her wrists. You don’t need a woman who can only love you silently.”

You shall forever reign over my heart and soul. Never for a moment will my thoughts miss your presence. Not for a lifetime will i forget the feel of your flesh next to mine. Nor will any hand fit mine so completely.

Never will my eyes let go of your dark skin which casts an angelic shadow on the dark wall. Never will i forget the scent of your body as you lay next to me. Never will i let go of the memory so enclosed in my subconscious of us traveling together, sharing a meal or laughing till our sides ache.

Never will i forget the echo of your voice as you encourage and voice your opinion. Never will i forget the beautiful presents on my hand that you put. Never will i forget the kindness you showered on me.

Never will the words you uttered be washed away within my existence. Never will the hope of motherhood fade away like the smoke does when fire dies out. Never will i forget the tiny hand that i held,  the sweet smile upon seeing me…..the few moments of borrowed motherhood that i experienced will last till my last breath.

I have re lived my childhood with you, played like a toddler with you, argued like a rebellious adolescent, loved like a wife,cared like a mother, protected like a father and endured like a soldier in battle.

I have lived my entire life in just a few hours with you. I have fulfilled all my desires in a few moments with you. I may not be with you physically but i will always remember you in my dreams, prayers and words. You will have an eternal presence in my life.

You may be with another woman but i will never give love to another man. I may be distanced from you but i will still feel close to you.  A day will come when you will know how i felt and why i did what i did. But never regret. You were the best of the best. A reflection of my  incomplete  fairy tale

Celebrate  my absence for i want happiness, prosperity and courage to touch your feet.

I will die a lonely death but with solace that you were a part of my life. I will always  mourn my silent love for you.

My First Ever Boat Ride

Every time I set foot on the beach I realize how serene and marvelous it is. The soft sand, the sound of the waves and tides all convey music that enlightens my soul. The beauty of the ocean is comparable to an artist  painting a breath taking image that excites the observer who can’t wait to see the completed image. It truly is heaven on earth; A glimpse of paradise. What a wondrous creation the Almighty has created.

Last weekend I had my first ever boat ride. I was jittery and scared as well. What if i drown? What if the boat stops midway? What if we are stranded and we were told to jump into the deep waters of the ocean? All these fears made me take a step back and reconsider if I really wanted to take a chance. As i stood thinking I realized every day we are bound by certain limits which hinder us from doing the things we normally would have loved to do. So often we are scared of taking risks that lead us to regret why we did not take the chance. The only way to live your life is to step ahead and take a chance. Every day of your life cross a limit you have subconsciously set for yourself. Only by fighting in the battle field will you understand your inner strength and ability.

Slowly but carefully I forced my feet towards the boat. I sat on a corner where I could hold on to the poles holding the flag at the front. Soon the boat filled up with more people and we began our journey. I had butterflies in my stomach but as the boat caught up with speed, I let go and embraced the cold breeze swaying on my face. My hair flew in all directions and i felt a sudden shiver. Soon i felt no fear but warm excitement like a puppy which has just seen its master after a long time.

The boat moved swiftly, fighting the waves and rhythmically matching the speed of the ever going waters. I could feel water droplets on my face as the boat moved on even faster. It was like the ocean was showering me with a big welcome. The salty water made my eyes sting and I quickly rubbed them off. But that did not wear me out.

The journey came to an abrupt stop. The sailor showed us a rocky and densely covered island with lots of trees and greenery. He told us no one can set foot in this island. It is full of huge venomous snakes. If you get hold of one it could cover up 20 boats like this one. I was amazed by this mysterious island but no one was brave enough to explore it any further. The sailor and his team followed a strict set of rules and safety of passengers was the foremost. They would not have let us explore the island.

Our journey continued. High waves rose on the ocean which wet our boat and we all exclaimed with laughter. Seeing the depths of the ocean at such a close range was an experience I will never forget. It harbors different life forms, some known others unknown. It carries secrets of ancient civilizations. It has swallowed millions of victims of ship wrecks. Yet its mystery continues to elude the whole of mankind.

After a few minutes we arrived at Mbudya Island. It was surrounded by trees, mighty rocks and lots of people had graced the island with their presence. Some were basking in the sun. Others swimming. Some in the arms of their beloved. Others swimming and squealing with delight.

I was pricked by flowers and buds on the hot sun but nonetheless I was excited and eager to see the rest of the island. I saw tiny fish swimming hurriedly around the water between the rocks. i could see sea shells all over on the shore. Some were broken while others were whole. Some of them still has tiny crabs inside them that bit those holding them.

I moved with my circle of friends around the whole island, playing in the water, teasing each other and sprinkling water on each other.It was truly the best day of my life.

As the sun was setting we saw the sky turn into a bluish pink welcoming the moon to cast its trap around the sky. The water slowly turned from a greenish blue to a dark black color making everyone realize the day had come to an end. We summoned the boat and set to go back home.

The ocean is much more appealing at night. Its dark shadow can mislead many a soul and carry it to its deepest corners. It is like the ocean is telling you that the day is over and now I reign over the world. Your power subsists only while sunlight lasts. Once the moon crowns its glory and stars emerge above I am the rightful heir of the world.