Shredded Hopes

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I often wonder how every instant in my life is clouded by the fear of failing,

I often marvel at how every second I am fearful of going through the worst tribulation,

I am often puzzled by how difficult life is turning out to be day after day,

Just when I feel this is is the worst that could ever happen to me, life throws me into another battle, worst than the former,

Just when I feel I have overcome a serious problem, another is thrown at my head, not giving me the opportunity to recover or evade the blow,

Failed relationships & Heartbreaks,

Financial setbacks,

Career issues,

family complications,

expecting too much,

everyone wanting a bit of you,

Sickness and Despair,

Sorrow and loneliness

I have been through it all,

How much more am I to endure?

How much more do I have to go through?

Is it never going to end?

When am I going to feel contentment and calm in my life?

When am I going to be genuinely happy with my life?

All the hopes, ambitions, aspirations that I once had

are fading

All the dreams and desires I once envisioned for myself

are dulling amidst the chaos of life

All the positivity, bravery, courage

are evaporating into thin air

Everything that I ever wanted is shredding into tiny droplets of despair

Hanging on to suck the breath out of me

Wanting to make me devoid of any kind of hope

or light

forcing me to succumb to anguish and frustration,

leading me to a path of darkness and melancholy,

Igniting an echo that flows endlessly around me,

Shredded Hopes

Shredded Hopes

Shredded Hopes

Enigmatic Creature – Seductive Abs

 

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I really don’t know what it is about him that attracts me to him,

He is unlike any of the men I have been with or want to be with,

Each second that passes by makes this attraction I feel for him grow from a bubble to a cloud,

He is not a complete stranger,

We had a fling when we were teenagers out on their own for the first time,

A kiss here and there,

An attempt to make out,

A gentle touch to ignite the flame of desire,

A gentle caress when nobody’s watching,

But never making love.

I liked his charm, the sweet husky melody of his voice,

The soft ruffle of his hair, styled to imitate a teenage hero,

The tattooed arms, a green star on his arm,

The chains around his neck, giving him a tough manly appearance,

A well known figure,

I know we can never be together,

We both want different things from life,

For him a fling is enough to get yourself acquainted with each other,

I need to feel the real thing, the real tingly feeling of having a man all for yourself, someone you can rely on and someone who does not just value your beauty but your thoughts and persona,

My body wants him yet my heart knows I can never have him for myself,

He brings out the wildest of desires within me, wanting to feel the sweet pang of pain combined with pleasure,

I have no love for him, just an attraction, an itch I need to scratch,

His well toned body, those abs

drive me wild,

drowsing my mind with confusion and passion,

Distance separates us in real sense,

But instant messaging brings us closer,

He wants a sexy snapshot here and there,

We talk sexy and dirty,

Like its not me, but a hidden vixen buried within my soul,

Two different individuals,

Linked together,

wanting different things yet tied together.

A merciless fling this is,

Oh! Enigmatic Creature.

You’ll be the death of me.

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Empty Canvass

 

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A sense of dread gradually creeps into my mind,

awakening the fear I have tried to bury deep down in my soul,

forcing me to face the challenge I am not prepared to witness,

urging me to take a leap of faith I am not sure of surviving,

Why does it feel like no matter what I do, it’s never enough?

Why does it feel like I am trapped within this world?

Why am I scared of failure?

Why have I lost the ability to joyfully smile and face life?

Why do I hide my real desires frightened of scorn and ridicule?

Why am I scared of what the world might think of me?

I am like an empty canvass

fearful of being ripped and tainted by the extreme galore of colors?

How will I be anything but an empty canvass if this fear fails to diminish from my life?

 

Happy Birthday Papa

 

 

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Among the darkest clouds in my life, your light shines brighter than the star,

In the chaos of daily life, yours is the hand that leads me to peace and tranquility,

When the clock of sorrow ticks around my life, yours are the arms that hold me tight

When the wave of sadness washes me over,  yours are the words and gestures that put a smile on my face,

When I feel lonely and lost, your voice is the guide that leads me home or close to my destination,

When I do wrong, yours is the guidance that I seek,

When I am heartbroken, yours is the gentleness that heals my wounds,

When I am scared, yours is the protection I seek,

When I achieve even the tiniest bit of success, yours is the loudest applause and praise that I hear,

When I raise my hands in prayer to the Almighty God, Yours is the blessing that I wish bestowed upon me,

I am surely endowed with divine grace to have a father like you,

And on your special day, the day you were born, I wish for nothing else but your happiness and good health,

I wish for understanding and love so I can always cherish your presence in my life,

I pray for wisdom and courage so I may hold your hand when pain strikes your body,

I pray for your existence in my life and my future children so you may impart your wise words to them,

Happy Birthday, Papa!!!!

I Love You.